How to Negotiate Higher, Better, Bigger as a Boss Woman
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I know the guy doing the same work as me is getting paid more than me. What can I do to receive my deserved equity?”
That can start with negotiating a HIGHER salary.
Why Negotiation Is Non-Negotiable for Women Leaders
When I was starting out in corporate, I was working for one of the big accounting firms as a management consultant and I was doing the exact same work as the guy next to me, let’s call him Jac. We were on the same projects, doing the same hours and we were both ambitious. Jac was a close colleague of mine and we travelled together to many clients in different countries when ‘cutting out fat’ was a thing - to save corporations from their unwatched big spends and untethered expansions leading to excess resources.
In any event, one day Jac confided in me that he was leaving the company because he wasn’t being paid enough. Curious, I asked what “not enough” meant… and to my utter shock and horror Jac was being paid four times more - yes 4 x more than moi - Chitupa. I was flabbergasted.
What I learnt from that day on is that as a woman you don’t get paid what you deserve, you get paid what you negotiate!
The Data Doesn’t Lie
In the UK, for every £1 earned by a man, a woman earns about 86p.
Add ethnicity into the mix, and the gap widens. For every £1 earned by a white man, a black woman earns roughly 70p.
At the current rate of progress it will take about 257 years to achieve equal pay.
Whichever way you slice it, in the UK, Black British women like myself are at the bottom of the equity ladder.
Is this any better in the US? No.
White women earned approximately 84 cents for every dollar earned by a white man as of 2022.
Black women earned 69 cents for every dollar a white man made in 2022.
Google search ‘gender pay gap’ and in every scenario we as women are not earning the same. Fact.
As a woman, if you want to be appropriately valued for your experience, expertise, and work, it is well worth knowing how to negotiate for the same monetary value that your male counter would receive just for being a guy.
How to Negotiate a Higher Salary
1. Confidence is Key
If you go in as if you are asking for a favour, then game over.
If you go into a meeting mumbling and bumbling through a request, then game over.
If you yourself don’t think you’ll get the raise, you probably shall not get it and/or you’ll get less than you actually deserve.
This is where working with a coach can make all the difference in building your confidence. Invest in yourself. It is worth it! You are worth it. When you get the pay rise, the investment in coaching would be so miniscule compared to it.
2. Get in Front of the Right Person
Request a meeting with the person who has the authority to negotiate, not the messenger.
You don’t want to have to state your case to multiple people as this may be demoralising.
3. Do Solid Prep Work
Before the conversation, get clear on your wins, the value you bring, and the impact you’ve made. Know your desired salary range and why you’re asking for it. For example, specify how much revenue and/or clients you have personally generated for the business or problems you have solved.
Then work out the new salary you are requesting and the timeline you would like to see this come into your bank account.
4. Practice the prep work with your coach
Practice and set an agenda for the meeting with your coach. You could also explore with your coach what other options would work for you. For example, instead of a salary increase, what about less working hours, or more leave time etc.
5. Always have the figure in mind
Don’t leave it up to someone else. This is your money, your budget, your remuneration. Ask for what you want with confidence. Reinforce your position of a pay rise of x amount .
6. Remember, this is a negotiation
Negotiation isn’t about confrontation, it’s about alignment. The person whom you are negotiating with may make some suggestions or possibly give some other equity options. Listen carefully, and if alternative options are offered, take time to reflect before responding.
I would love to know how you got on so send me an email or DM on LinkedIn with your coaching needs or you great news.
Negotiating for More Than Just Money
Negotiation isn’t only about salary. You can negotiate for better projects, more flexibility, and genuine balance.
There was a time when I was raising three young children and wanted to stay fully present in their lives. I negotiated for roles that valued performance and outcomes over visibility and “face time.” I was clear about my boundaries (no more than four days abroad on client work etc) and I delivered!
That experience taught me that people respect clarity. They might not always say yes right away, but they never forget a woman who knows what she wants and communicates it with confidence.
Negotiating Bigger
When I say “bigger,” I mean bigger aspirations for your whole life: your purpose, energy, time, and self-care, dreams, and visions.
If anyone has ever told you your dreams are “too big,” forgive them.
They may be projecting their own fears on you.
They may be seeing things about you from their own limiting beliefs.
They may be thinking from their discriminatory and/or prejudiced mindset.
Bottom line: keep dreaming BIG, bless and forgive them.
Negotiating bigger means recognising your worth in every area, from your career and finances to your boundaries, self-care, and joy. It’s not just about asking for more; it’s about believing you deserve it.
This is the deep work I do with my clients: unravelling the stories, fears, and limiting beliefs that hold them back from asking for (and receiving) more.
The Boss Woman Mindset
Your self-talk defines your negotiation power. Try reminding yourself:
I deserve the best.
I am wholly competent.
I can do what I put my mind to.
Everything I do is with excellence.
I am deserving of a higher salary.
I can achieve my goals in all areas of my life.
I have what it takes to succeed.
Ready to Step Into Your Worth?
You don’t have to figure this out on your own.
Book a free call with me to explore how coaching can help you negotiate higher, better, and bigger in your salary, your career, and your life.
