Finding Your Voice as a Boss Woman

Fake It Until You Become It

When I was growing up I was always referred to as the shy one. The one that had no voice. My mother said she would pray for me to get a voice so that people could ‘see ‘ me and hear me. The family joke is that she may have prayed too hard as many years later and especially in my professional career I started to talk and haven’t really stopped. When I now talk or have public speaking engagements, the feedback is that: “Oh you’re so confident. “ Well it took quite a journey to get there, and I now share some tips and tools with you.

Throughout my career I have always been the only person that looked like me in meetings, board rooms and leadership spaces. Not only was I the only woman in those spaces, I was also black. And so in these spaces, filled with camaraderie I wasn’t part of, I was either going to swim or sink - very quickly. I chose to become a very good swimmer.

This is how I gained my confidence, and many different types of boss women have expressed that this has also greatly helped them.

Tool 1: Choose to be uncomfortable on a regular basis.

If you’re not used to speaking up in a meeting, commit to doing so at the next meeting. If you find that there are people with louder voices than you, and you find it difficult to interject, when they have finished speaking say that you would like to say/ mention/ bring to light and or contribute to the discussion you have just had.

Tool 2: Repeatedly tell yourself that you’re learning and acquiring a new skill.

Even if you find it hard to interject and/or to say something because Tom is either very aggressive and/or has the loudest voice, remind yourself that you’re learning:

• To speak up,

• To say something,

• To be heard

You are acquiring a new and important skill. Get used to hearing your own voice. Get familiar with what works for you.

Tool 3: Practice, practice, practice.

It’s as simple as that.

Put yourself in situations where you get to practice whatever it is that you or someone else has told you that you are not good at. I was told that I was no good at presenting and so I thought I just wasn't good at it. When someone asked me to present, I flopped because I had lost confidence. What I soon began to realise is that what I actually didn't like about presenting was reading words on different screens in a PowerPoint format. I am a very visual person and so if I am talking about something I would prefer to present with diagrams or popping visuals.

Tool 4: When your confidence is knocked, think - LOO / TOILET!

I know some people say you should think of people without clothes. I’d rather not (ha ha). What I do is I think that all these really important people go to the loo, like me, and do... their business. I.e when everything is stripped back to reality we are all human! If your confidence has been knocked down by someone just think that they too go to the LOO.

Tool 5: Be authentically you.

Of all the tools this is the most important. Figure out what your particular style of vocalisation is? I am not a waffler nor a small talker - this is not my style. In meetings, I am the person who listens, observes, and then surmises the different perspectives of everyone. When different leadership teams experience me in this way, they then don’t just rattle on but take a pause to ask for my opinion and/or perspective, because they know I have been listening and taking succinct mental notes of everyone’s point of view. When it is time to drive home a point I certainly do so and I do so with a calm tonality and energised voice. I am authentically me and respected for that.

It is my experience that the loudest voice is not always the most knowledgeable voice. It is just the loudest.

• Your voice should be a reflection of who you are and of your thoughts, knowledge and experiences.

• Your voice should reflect your values in the way that you say things and the tonality with which you articulate things.

• Your voice should reflect the level of comfort that you have to express yourself and be heard in the world.

I have clients who also come to me to say that women are particularly good at annihilating each other with the words that they use towards one another. Using our voices for destructive means in the workplace detracts us from showcasing our true woman brilliance and intelligence and breeds ground for people to criticise women in leadership roles.

I had a client who had a lot of experience and expertise but she had a boss who used her voice to tell her, consistently, that she was ‘stupid’ and incompetent. My client also stuttered when I met her and had lost all confidence in herself. After a few months of coaching, my client decided to put in a boundary that suited her and started looking for a new job where her voice could be valued and honoured. After three months in her new job my client stopped stuttering and started finding her authentic voice. She says that not only has her career changed for the better but so has her life. Boss women, our voice matters, so let us use it to empower others.

Why Women’s Voices in Leadership Matter

The data is clear: when women lead, organisations thrive.

• Women in Leadership Roles Fuel Revenue Growth

  Companies with above-average leadership diversity report higher revenue increases.

• Greater Female Representation = Higher Profitability

  McKinsey & Company found that businesses with more women executives are 25% more likely to achieve above-average profitability.

• Companies with More Female Executives Make More Money.

Your voice is more than sound, it’s your story, your experience, your brilliance!

When you use it authentically and unapologetically, you not only transform your career, but also the spaces you enter.

So, boss women: Be heard. Be brave. Be you. If you’re ready to strengthen your confidence and reclaim your voice, book a free call with me today.